Don’t be afraid to say “No” to your dog.
Having to say “No” doesn’t mean you have failed your dog as a trainer or handler. It means you have stepped up when needed and taken control. There are many times in your dog’s life where you will need to take this role. It is something we must accept will happen and we need to take responsibility for it.
The fact of the matter is, for a dog to truly understanding the meaning of “Yes” we must also teach them the meaning of “No”. And simply put, they need to hear it.
Dogs don’t like to be in charge. And if they do even superheroes need leaders! Without teaching our dog the meaning of this valuable word we are doing them a disservice.
So since when did “No” become a dirty word? We ourselves say “No” to things everyday. Why not to our dogs? Many trainers, including myself, have seen cases where a simple “No” was all a dog needed to hear and bam, the dirt is gone.
The path of least resistance may feel better (for us) when it comes to training our dogs, but it is this very path that our dogs can CHOOSE to take themselves. That doesn’t come with always just telling them “Yes”. They need to hear “No” BUT they must be taught the meaning of it.
If your dog doesn’t respond to “No” (or your equivalent) you need to ask yourself why. Are our emotions getting in the way of what our dog really needs? Does the word actually have meaning? Has it been devalued from overuse? Or worse yet, overuse with no follow-up? Does your dog even know what the follow-up is? (i.e.: Is there a consequence? Or are you after an alternate response?). Has their behaviour been enabled?
Our dogs see the world best in black and white. And no, I’m not talking about their vision. There must be very clear guidelines in place for our dogs to live stable, healthy and mentally enriching lives. This means you must be very clear cut with them – in your rules and your relationship. Unclear or inconsistent practices, otherwise known as grey areas, are hazy and can leave room for much error and confusion. This goes for any aspect of a dog’s life.
“No” is not an evil word. Many a dog has been saved from the simplest of troubles, even from death row, by being taught the meaning of this very word. And no, “No” is not doom and gloom. The word “No” can also serve as a motivator. Yes! It can power your dog’s thought processes so much that they itch to do the right thing. It brings them a sense of purpose that drives them to find out what pot of gold lies at the end of the rainbow. That rainbow being an alternate behaviour that can earn them a multitude of reward. And relief! Yep. A dog who has never been told “No” isn’t usually in a good headspace.
Not only does “No” nurture resilience in your dog, it also creates the backbone for building a strong and trusting relationship between you and your dog. Mutual respect goes a long way.
So say yes to saying “No”.
Because “No” is what makes “Yes” that much more powerful.